Anonymous said: Maybe Bisexuals shouldn't use "monosexism" or maybe you should grow the fuck up and realise that you are capable of being an oppressor. I don't don't care if you feel like it's no fair for you to be lumped in with straight people, I mean as a white woman I get lumped in with white men who are oppressors but i don't try and dispute white as a privilege. I still have oppressing power over POC and you still have oppressing power over bisexuals.
In addition: bisexuals face oppression in a different way than lesbians and gay men do. MONOSEXISM IS A GOOD WAY TO DESCRIBE THAT OPPRESSION. IT’S THE SAME AS USING LESBOPHOBIA OR TRANSEXISM TO DESCRIBE THE SPECIFIC OPRESSION YOU FACE. also the first use of “femme” was to describe a bi woman.
…no, as white women we are oppressors. All white people belong in the same category if we’re talking about racial oppression. Saying that we are “lumped in” with “white men who are oppressors” suggests that we are not full beneficiaries of white privilege, or are less complicit in white supremacy, or are less possessing of white entitlement than white men. That’s not true. We have privilege as white people and specifically as white women.
Putting white men and white women in the same racial class makes sense. Neither of us have racial privilege over the other, even though men have privilege on the axis of gender. Putting lesbians in the same sexuality class as straight people doesn’t make sense because straight people marginalize lesbians on the axis of sexuality. Institutional power is not organized around two separate sexuality traits: “liking one gender” and “liking the ~opposite~ gender.” There is only one hegemonic demand: that men only like women and women only like men. [Heterosexist logic doesn’t take non-binary genders into account.] “Monosexuality” is ONLY demanded when it’s part of heterosexuality; monosexual-heterosexuality is the only sexuality class granted institutional power. Monosexual-gay sexuality is marginalized for not being monosexual-heterosexuality. Full stop.
Bi people don’t treat “liking one gender” as a separate aspect of straight sexuality, because we know it is inherent to heterosexuality and necessary for straight privilege. If we truly thought that “liking one gender” was a separate axis for straight people - that monosexual privilege and heterosexual privilege are distinct intersecting privileges - we would have to admit that the other axis is simply “liking the the ~opposite~ gender,” a trait most of us share with straight people. But we don’t say that, cause that would mean we’re privileged over gay people on that axis. We only separate out exclusivity of attraction from gender(s) of attraction for gay people. Not for straight people and not for ourselves.
If you want to keep up the “monosexism is a separate axis of oppression” line, then acknowledge that “heterosexism” must simply be a system privileging people who like a gender other than their own, and own up to being privileged on that axis. Or maybe we could ditch “monosexism” altogether and talk about biphobia and bi-misogyny as aspects of heterosexism and heteropatriarchy, same as homophobia and lesbophobia. We already have language for this. “Monosexism” is unnecessary.
I am an oppressor. Other than being a bi woman - a BI WOMAN, which I clearly said in my last post - all institutional power is stacked in my favor. Which is why it concerns me when other white bi women say that lesbians are our “oppressors” and always, immediately compare this to racial oppression. Without seeming to put any thought into racial intersections or seriously consider criticisms that “monosexism” is not intersectional.
Not only are you saying that lesbians have privilege as lesbians (no), but that all people who have any single privilege relative to you are actually your oppressors. Are lesbians of color my oppressors? How do lesbians of color access enough institutional power over me that they can oppress me as a white bi woman?
We’re saying that all lesbians have privilege over us because gay people are more represented than bi people in “LGBTQ” spaces. ["LGBTQ" spaces are not sites of institutional power; gay people being more represented there doesn’t give them institutional power.] But who actually dominates? Isn’t it white people, specifically white cis middle-class able-bodied men? Even if we’re looking specifically at lesbians, isn’t it white lesbians?
Do lesbians of color really “oppress” or even access privilege over white bi women in these spaces? Do lesbians of color have more/better media representation than white bi women? [And bi women can be represented even if bisexuality is not explicitly stated. Piper is bi.] Why do I not benefit from the continued white supremacist domination of “LGBTQ” spaces at least as much as lesbians of color benefit from having lesbian sexuality represented? Are we assuming that white lesbians fully represent the voices, needs, and experiences of all lesbians? But white bi women are not represented at all by lesbians? Because apparently the ability to like more than just women just makes us soooo different from lesbians and we can’t benefit at all from [white-centric] resources/representation for same-gender relationships or same-gender attractions.
And that’s not even looking at gender. “Monosexism” frames lesbians as having privilege over all bi people, including men. So are we saying that lesbians of color are oppressors of white bi men? What a joke.
Anyway, maybe we as white women could think about the racial intersections of this a little more, before we immediately compare it to white privilege.
[Also there’s no evidence Marianna Lawton was bi - she married a man for economic reasons and hoped for his early demise so she could join Anne with her inheritance. In any case, Anne Lister calling her “more womanly than me” in French has nothing to do with “femme” as the standalone English word that’s part of butch/femme.]